Welcome To CG's Kitchen: December 2011

Since my best friend just had a baby, there are probably going to be a few "new baby" related posts for a while. I'm sure you'll forgive me, kind reader.
If and when you are invited to visit a new mom at home there are most definitely unspoken rules. First things first: for the invitation, feel free to email/text (be careful of ringing phones. There is nothing worse than working for half an hour to get a baby to sleep only to have a doorbell or phone wake them up!) and ask when you can come over sometime and bring them some food. We would get so excited to get one of those texts! Of course you can come over! Phew, we don't have to order pizza. Again.
Rule #1: Thou shalt not enter the home of a new mom WITHOUT food. New parents are barely functioning adults and by the time 5 or 6pm rolls around you think to yourself "Oh crap. I guess we should eat something." Having a home cooked meal (in someone else's home. Don't you dare ask to use their kitchen to cook dinner unless its just to reheat. Or if you do, you best make sure that kitchen is sparkling when you leave) is heaven to a new mom and dad.
I will always remember our first night home from the hospital. I was a mess. In pain, exhausted and delirious and my mom came over with this gorgeous dish of chicken and rice. I don't even know what she did to that chicken but it was glorious. If I was more mobile I would have knelt down and kissed the ground she was walking on. That is how important food is to new parents so don't leave your home without it. That being said, it can be take out too. Just ask the parents what they like. Some parents, like us, used a website to coordinate meals. There are quite a few out there. My favorite right now is called Meal Train. One of the great things about this website in particular is that you can just send the url to interested parties. No passwords needed like some of the other sites. Another great thing is the website will send people who have signed up to bring meals a reminder email and you can even add the "event" to your iCal or Google Calendar.

Make sure you ask them what time to come. Don't just show up. If they give you a time, don't be early or late. They are telling you a specific time so they can time feedings and don't have to be half naked in front of you. So there you have it, Rule #2: Thou shalt not be late or early.

So what should you bring? Think comfort food but nothing too too heavy. There are a lot of options, but make sure it is something that can be reheated and bring a lot of it! Rule #3: Thou shalt bring copious amounts of food, whatever it is. Try to figure out if the mom has any food aversions or dislikes. Again, an easy way to solve this is through websites like Meal Train. The new parents can list your favorite foods, least favorite foods, favorite spots for takeout, and any instructions for people bringing food (such as come at 5pm and don't ring the doorbell) .

Don't bring anything that can create gas in mom or baby. Gassy baby = very unhappy household and NO ONE sleeps. Rule #4: Thou shalt not bring any food with lots of onions, cauliflower, broccoli, cucumbers, cabbage, corn, peanuts or anything too spicy. Some breastfeeding moms have even more restrictive diets, make sure you know about them before you start cooking.

One of the other tough things about figuring out what to bring is "Are they going to get 43 lasagnas?" That's the other nice thing about meal train and programs like it, you can see what other people are bringing and when, as long as the people signing up don't write something down like "a yummy dish." Ya, that's super helpful. And yes, that was sarcasm.
What I did this year at my friend's baby shower was to make her a certificate that was good for a home cooked meal (my specialty meals, the ones I am most proud of and reheat well) and gave her a few options. For me those options are: Italian sausage and mushroom lasagna, minestrone, apple and pork stew, beef and butternut squash chili, roasted tomato soup or eggplant parmesan. Normally I would say no to eggplant parm because it can get soggy, but the recipe I have calls for baking the eggplant so they stay pretty firm, plus its nice to have a veggie option. I will do some other posts on these recipes later so you, kind reader, can make them too!
Lasagnas are a good choice because they will reheat well, but again, a lot of people make lasagna so just make sure they aren't going to be sick of lasagna. Anything you bring should have some sort of protein and vegetables. The nursing/new mom needs a lot of fuel. Breastfeeding moms burn 500-1,000 calories just by producing breast milk. Compare that to the meager extra 300 calories that pregnant women need! So don't just bring a big bowl of pasta. Carbs are good and all but they need good nutrition too. Chilis are a good choice as long as they aren't too spicy. Stews and soups of all kinds are good too. As are quiches or fritattas (as long as the new mom or baby doesn't have an egg allergy).

When we go over to a new mom's house we usually bring a whole meal. So not just the lasagna or minestrone, but also a salad, some sort of vegetable and a dessert. For desserts, think of things that will stay good for a few days and that are easy to eat with one hand. Brownies, lemon bars, that sort of thing. One of my favorite meals that a friend brought me was a giant cobb salad. I was so desperate when she walked in the door. My husband was at a bachelor party, for which I will never let him forget, so I was on my own with a colicky baby. Luckily my mom came over to help or I probably would have been admitted to the psych ward. I will never forget that beautiful salad. I had never actually had cobb salad before and it was amazing!! Good protein, great lettuce, bacon, some mild cheese. Oh it was just wonderful.

Another thing that we do that is VERY well received is to bring some snacks and other items they will need. If the mom is breastfeeding or at least trying to, bring some packages of oatmeal, some lactation cookies, mixed nuts for some easy protein (and its very portable no matter where you are feeding the baby), usually some bagels for the mornings. Some other staples for them to cook on their own when they get back on their feet is also very helpful. This is something that a good friend with three kids did for us and it was awesome! Things like packages of fast cooking rice (brown rice is a good bet), pasta sauce and pasta, frozen stirfry vegetables and simmer sauces.

What to put the food in? Rule #5: Thou shalt not put the food in any containers you NEED returned. New moms and dads can barely find two matching shoes let alone remember who brought what plate to their house. Check out the baking aisle at safeway. They usually have some aluminum throwaway dishes that are specifically made for casseroles/lasagnas or gladware containers. They sell some nice big ones these days.
One of the tricky issues with bringing food is do you stay? We treated these visits as dinner and a chance for our friends to see the baby (plus, they can hold the baby while you eat with two hands, an incredible luxury!). But some new moms and dads just want the food and can't really deal with visitors. The best thing you can do is ask. And if they say we'd like you to go, don't take it personally, every new family is different.

Some other miscellaneous things to keep in mind: if you have small children you probably want to leave them at home with another caretaker, unless the new family has an older child as well that might like some entertainment from other children. If the family doesn't have someone (like a grandma) who is helping them, if you see dishes in the sink wash them and put them away. If you see laundry to be done, go ahead a do a load. Insist on it. Don't ask "Is there anything I can do for you?" Instead, say "What can I do for you to help?" Most moms are reluctant to ask for help, but if you tell them you are here to help they might just feel better about it. It might seem weird, but it really does help. Especially if you are very close friends with them. Make her some tea and have a chat if she is up for it. I always liked hearing about what was going on outside our four walls. Sometimes it is tough to keep up on events with a new baby. We were pretty desperate for visits so we relished these nights of catching up with our friends and enjoying a meal with them, even if we didn't cook it. If you are able to come by during the day that can be helpful too. Offer to watch the baby while the new mama can take a shower or take a nap. Keep your visit on the short side, say an hour unless you are really close friends. When we brought my daughter home, she was feeding every hour and a half, so an hour was just about perfect. Keep the advice to a minimum unless the new mum asks, especially about breastfeeding, it can be a sore subject (in more ways than one!). Watch the perfume and lotion before you arrive, you're not going on a date for goodness sakes. Some babies and new moms are very sensitive.

Any other tips out there mamas?Add them in the comments!

Welcome To CG's Kitchen

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Rules for Bringing Food To A New Mom

Lactation Cookies