The Rules for Bringing Food To A New Mom

Since my best friend just had a baby, there are probably going to be a few "new baby" related posts for a while. I'm sure you'll forgive me, kind reader.
If and when you are invited to visit a new mom at home there are most definitely unspoken rules. First things first: for the invitation, feel free to email/text (be careful of ringing phones. There is nothing worse than working for half an hour to get a baby to sleep only to have a doorbell or phone wake them up!) and ask when you can come over sometime and bring them some food. We would get so excited to get one of those texts!  Of course you can come over! Phew, we don't have to order pizza. Again.
Rule #1: Thou shalt not enter the home of a new mom WITHOUT food.  New parents are barely functioning adults and by the time 5 or 6pm rolls around you think to yourself "Oh crap. I guess we should eat something." Having a home cooked meal (in someone else's home. Don't you dare ask to use their kitchen to cook dinner unless its just to reheat. Or if you do, you best make sure that kitchen is sparkling when you leave) is heaven to a new mom and dad.
I will always remember our first night home from the hospital. I was a mess. In pain, exhausted and delirious and my mom came over with this gorgeous dish of chicken and rice. I don't even know what she did to that chicken but it was glorious. If I was more mobile I would have knelt down and kissed the ground she was walking on. That is how important food is to new parents so don't leave your home without it. That being said, it can be take out too. Just ask the parents what they like. Some parents, like us, used a website to coordinate meals. There are quite a few out there. My favorite right now is called Meal Train.  One of the great things about this website in particular is that you can just send the url to interested parties. No passwords needed like some of the other sites. Another great thing is the website will send people who have signed up to bring meals a  reminder email and you can even add the "event" to your iCal or Google Calendar.

Make sure you ask them what time to come. Don't just show up. If they give you a time, don't be early or late. They are telling you a specific time so they can time feedings and don't have to be half naked in front of you. So there you have it, Rule #2: Thou shalt not be late or early.

So what should you bring? Think comfort food but nothing too too heavy. There are a lot of options, but make sure it is something that can be reheated and bring a lot of it! Rule #3: Thou shalt bring copious amounts of food, whatever it is. Try to figure out if the mom has any food aversions or dislikes. Again, an easy way to solve this is through websites like Meal Train. The new parents can list your favorite foods, least favorite foods, favorite spots for takeout, and any instructions for people bringing food (such as come at 5pm and don't ring the doorbell) .

Don't bring anything that can create gas in mom or baby. Gassy baby = very unhappy household and NO ONE sleeps. Rule #4: Thou shalt not bring any food with lots of onions, cauliflower, broccoli, cucumbers, cabbage, corn, peanuts or anything too spicy. Some breastfeeding moms have even more restrictive diets, make sure you know about them before you start cooking.

One of the other tough things about figuring out what to bring is "Are they going to get 43 lasagnas?" That's the other nice thing about meal train and programs like it, you can see what other people are bringing and when, as long as the people signing up don't write something down like "a yummy dish." Ya, that's super helpful. And yes, that was sarcasm.
What I did this year at my friend's baby shower was to make her a certificate that was good for a home cooked meal (my specialty meals, the ones I am most proud of and reheat well) and gave her a few options. For me those options are: Italian sausage and mushroom lasagna, minestrone, apple and pork stew, beef and butternut squash chili, roasted tomato soup or eggplant parmesan. Normally I would say no to eggplant parm because it can get soggy, but the recipe I have calls for baking the eggplant so they stay pretty firm, plus its nice to have a veggie option. I will do some other posts on these recipes later so you, kind reader, can make them too!
Lasagnas are a good choice because they will reheat well, but again, a lot of people make lasagna so just make sure they aren't going to be sick of lasagna. Anything you bring should have some sort of protein and vegetables. The nursing/new mom needs a lot of fuel. Breastfeeding moms burn 500-1,000 calories just by producing breast milk. Compare that to the meager extra 300 calories that pregnant women need! So don't just bring a big bowl of pasta. Carbs are good and all but they need good nutrition too. Chilis are a good choice as long as they aren't too spicy. Stews and soups of all kinds are good too. As are quiches or fritattas (as long as the new mom or baby doesn't have an egg allergy).

When we go over to a new mom's house we usually bring a whole meal. So not just the lasagna or minestrone, but also a salad, some sort of vegetable and a dessert. For desserts, think of things that will stay good for a few days and that are easy to eat with one hand. Brownies, lemon bars, that sort of thing. One of my favorite meals that a friend brought me was a giant cobb salad. I was so desperate when she walked in the door. My husband was at a bachelor party, for which I will never let him forget, so I was on my own with a colicky baby. Luckily my mom came over to help or I probably would have been admitted to the psych ward. I will never forget that beautiful salad. I had never actually had cobb salad before and it was amazing!! Good protein, great lettuce, bacon, some mild cheese. Oh it was just wonderful.

Another thing that we do that is VERY well received is to bring some snacks and other items they will need. If the mom is breastfeeding or at least trying to, bring some packages of oatmeal, some lactation cookies, mixed nuts for some easy protein (and its very portable no matter where you are feeding the baby), usually some bagels for the mornings. Some other staples for them to cook on their own when they get back on their feet is also very helpful. This is something that a good friend with three kids did for us and it was awesome! Things like packages of fast cooking rice (brown rice is a good bet), pasta sauce and pasta, frozen stirfry vegetables and simmer sauces.

What to put the food in? Rule #5: Thou shalt not put the food in any containers you NEED  returned. New moms and dads can barely find two matching shoes let alone remember who brought what plate to their house. Check out the baking aisle at safeway. They usually have some aluminum throwaway dishes that are specifically made for casseroles/lasagnas or gladware containers. They sell some nice big ones these days.  
One of the tricky issues with bringing food is do you stay? We treated these visits as dinner and a chance for our friends to see the baby (plus, they can hold the baby while you eat with two hands, an incredible luxury!). But some new moms and dads just want the food and can't really deal with visitors. The best thing you can do is ask. And if they say we'd like you to go, don't take it personally, every new family is different.

Some other miscellaneous things to keep in mind: if you have small children you probably want to leave them at home with another caretaker, unless the new family has an older child as well that might like some entertainment from other children. If the family doesn't have someone (like a grandma) who is helping them, if you see dishes in the sink wash them and put them away. If you see laundry to be done, go ahead a do a load. Insist on it. Don't ask "Is there anything I can do for you?" Instead, say "What can I do for you to help?" Most moms are reluctant to ask for help, but if you tell them you are here to help they might just feel better about it. It might seem weird, but it really does help. Especially if you are very close friends with them. Make her some tea and have a chat if she is up for it. I always liked hearing about what was going on outside our four walls. Sometimes it is tough to keep up on events with a new baby. We were pretty desperate for visits so we relished these nights of catching up with our friends and enjoying a meal with them, even if we didn't cook it. If you are able to come by during the day that can be helpful too. Offer to watch the baby while the new mama can take a shower or take a nap. Keep your visit on the short side, say an hour unless you are really close friends. When we brought my daughter home, she was feeding every hour and a half, so an hour was just about perfect. Keep the advice to a minimum unless the new mum asks, especially about breastfeeding, it can be a sore subject (in more ways than one!). Watch the perfume and lotion before you arrive, you're not going on a date for goodness sakes. Some babies and new moms are very sensitive.

Any other tips out there mamas?Add them in the comments!

Lactation Cookies

I had overheard quite a few of my mom friends talk about Lactation Cookies over the past year or so. I decided when my very good friend had a baby that I would try to whip some up. So I did! The recipe that I found in a couple of places online is by Noel Trujillo and here it is!

Lactation Cookies
Ingredients:
1 C Butter
1 C Sugar
1 C Brown Sugar
3 Tbsp Water
2 Tbsp Flaxseed Meal (No Subs)
2 Lg Eggs
1 tsp Vanilla
2 C Flour
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp Salt
3 C Thick Cut Oats
1 C Chocolate Chips
2 Tbsp Brewers Yeast (No Substitutions)

Preheat oven at 375. Mix 2 T of flaxseed meal and water, set aside 3-5 minutes. Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs. Stir flaxseed mix into butter mix and add vanilla. Beat until well blended. Sift: dry ingredients, except oats and chocolate chips. Add butter mix to dry mix. Stir in the oats and then the chocolate chips. Drop on parchmant paper on baking sheet.

Bake 12 minutes.

 The Verdict

They are very easy to make and they taste pretty darn good! And I will fess up, I totally forgot to put in the brown sugar, so I'm sure yours will be even better than mine! I might play around with it next time and add something like cinnamon to take it up a notch as well. The reviewers online said that the cookies did really help with their supply, but I will have to ask my friend if they help or not. But I do know/remember that anything with oats helps boost supply as would brewer's yeast. The only issue with these cookies is that you will need some ingredients that you  might not normally have in your kitchen.

Some pesky ingredients that you might not have in your pantry. Ignore the tomatillos in the background, that's for another cooking project later!

I would recommend hitting up your local Whole Foods. They are sure to have it!  Make sure you are getting flaxseed meal not whole flaxseeds. You will find brewer's yeast in their Whole Body section.

So if you have friends who have new babies and/or are breastfeeding, go ahead and whip up a batch and bring them over. I mean, come on, who wouldn't love a batch of fresh oatmeal chocolate chip cookies? You might have to hide them from the daddies:)

New Home/Apple butter

So, I decided that my cooking posts deserved their very own home, since cooking doesn't necessarily have a lot to do with the "mama drama" but I do like having them in a public space for others to play around with and so I have an easily accessible copy.  So here goes:)

Welcome to CG's Kitchen! Pull up a chair and I'll get you a spoon.

Apple Butter

I've been wanting to play around with apple butter for a while and another mom friend pushed me to action, so thanks Jennie:) When I started this today I had no idea it would be such a kitchen adventure! I guess that is the great thing about cooking and experimenting! Anyway...I looked around for some recipes and found one that sounded good over at Canning With Kids. We had looked around at trying to find a you-pick apple place that didn't use sprays but couldn't really find any nearby. I was planning on just buying a couple of big bags of apples at the grocery store when we were driving home from a lovely, long weekend in monterey and stopped at Gizdich Ranch. If you've never been, its definitely worth a special trip. They have amazing pies and apple cider. We missed their you pick season, but when we walked into their store they had big beautiful boxes of apples ready to go! I asked one of the employees what type of apple they would recommend for making apple butter since I really had no idea. I am partial to fuji apples for snacking but I wasn't sure how they would translate into a cooked product. I am so glad I asked! The man told me that the owner of the ranch had used Black Twig apples to make their own apple butter and that was good enough for me. So after making it through the marathon cooking of Thanksgiving, I cracked into that gorgeous box of apples that had been staring me down for a few days. Also, while I was at Gizdich they had a canning section and I had been wanting to buy a food mill to make apple sauce and apple butter and there one was, wrapped in plastic waiting for me and my 1/2 bushel of apples.

Gorgeous Black Twig Apples Ready For Some Buttering!

Before I got down to the job of chopping my apples, I needed 6 cups of apple cider. Normally I would just buy a big jug of cider, but since it was the day after thankgiving, safeway was out. So I did the next best thing (probably the better thing actually), I bought a gallon of apple juice and mulling spices and made my own.

 I washed my apples and got out my apple slicer, a very handy tool to have on hand for this job! The recipe calls for 10 cups of cored, chopped apples. For my apples that was 8 apples, but I'm sure it will depend on the type and size of apples you are using.   8 apples, which as you can imagine barely made a dent in my big box of apples. Oh well.

 Speaking of what apples you are using, you definitely want to choose a tart, cooking apple. Especially if you are canning your apple butter like I am. The tarter the apple, the higher the acidity and the safer it is. I took a bite out of one of the apple slices and WOAH! Tart City! So if you can find Black Twig apples, they definitely fit the bill.

Put your chopped apples and apple cider together in a big pot.

Cook until the apples are very tender, about 20 minutes. Then put them through your food mill. If you don't have a food mill, make sure you peel your apples before cooking them and process them in a blender. Since I was excited about my new food mill, I took it out of the plastic and put it to work. It was hard to tell from the recipe what I was supposed to do with the cider left in the pot, so initially I only took out the apples and put them through the mill. It was going very slowly and I'm pretty sure the size of my right arm doubled in the process. So I poured the cider into the mill as well just to see what would happen. Much easier! The hubby also helped tremendously! He realized that the skins were covering up the holes in the mill, so with a little experimenting he found that if you change the direction you are turning the handle it goes much quicker and easier as well.

We returned the apple mixture, which was now a little like runny applesauce, back to the pot. Added our sugar and spices. 4 cups of sugar, 1.5 tsp of cinnamon, allspice, ground cloves and nutmeg (as per the recipe). I also added 1.5 tsp of ginger because I am all about ginger and because it was smelling like a lot of allspice! Cook it until it starts getting nice and thick. I really wasn't wild about how it was smelling so I added another teaspoon of cinnamon since it just wasn't smelling the way I was hoping. It will definitely be a more savory apple butter than I'm used to.
And then I had a moment. A moment of "Am I really going to be proud to put this in people's christmas baskets this year?" And of course, the answer was a resounding no. So I decided to scrap it. My adorable husband found a use for the first batch. He swears it is delicious with some hot apple cider (that just happened to be simmering on the stove) and some dark rum. I love that guy. He always sees the good in everything:)
The funny thing is that when I finally read the original recipe/blog closer I noticed that the author wasn't too wild about the final product either! At least it wasn't just me! 

Apple Butter: Take 2
So off I went to the store to buy some apple cider vinegar and molasses to try out another recipe. This one is from Local Kitchen, one of my favorite new blogs, well new to me anyway.  While I was in the aisle where they sell all of one kind of apple butter I decided to check the label and see if there was anything I was missing. And I was, high fructose corn syrup. Yuck! And I instantly felt better about all the work I was going through to make my apple butter.

So this time around the recipe called for 5 pounds of apples which equated to 10 apples. So we are definitely making a dent in that box of apples! I sliced up the apples and put them in my big pot with a cup of apple cider vinegar (to keep the apples from browning) and enough water to cover the apples. Bring them to a boil and then simmer, covered for 20-30 minutes. I cooked them for about 25 minutes. I noticed they were much softer than the last batch. I put them through the food mill. It was much easier to mash them up this time, I imagine because they were so much softer.  Then I returned the puree to the pot and added 1/2 cup of bourbon, 2 tablespoons of molasses, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp nutmeg and allspice and 1/8 tsp of ground cloves. As I was putting them into the pot I thought to myself, "Now these measurements sound much more realistic than the last one!" And man, oh man. While it was cooking, it smelled delicious!! It definitely has that bourbon bite and spice.
 Hooray for bourbon!

I let it cook until it thickened up and would mound up on a wooden spoon.

Well, hello gorgeous!

Then tossed it in some 4 ounce jars and process them for 10 minutes. I was thrilled that one batch filled a whole case of 4 ounce jars and even better than that? All 12 little jars fit in my canner.

I love it when a canning plan comes together

Done and done. So everyone is getting apple butter this year! If I do another batch (which I probably will) I think I might let it get even thicker. I really like thick apple butter. As I was putting it into the jars I was thinking it could be thicker...but all in all I am really happy with the end product. It was a very long apple butter adventurous day but a success in the end.